View Single Post
Old 16-11-2001, 12:33 PM   #1   [permalink]
Senior Member
Mikaru's Avatar
Join Date: 7 Nov 2001
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 176
My Chibi Royal Rumble!

Okay, thirty chibis enter, one leaves. In this I go by the name Red Dragon. Warning, you must have seen slayers to get some of these jokes. here wer go. Read and review please. BTW, this is supposed to be funny.

Red Dragon: Welcome to the first annual chibi royal rumble. For those of you not familiar to the rules, here goes. This is a big match. Thirty of the badest, meanest chibis my anime collection has to offer are waiting backstage. Two of them walk out and start fighting. Every minute another Chibi will run out and join the fight. They may use whatever weapons, tactics or magic they use in their own shows. A Chibi is disqualified once he is, well, dead. Our special guest referee is none other than Tenchi Muyo. I'm Red Dragon, here at ringside, my partner should be arriving shortly.
A loud scream fills the arena. A picture of a gold dragon appears on the giant screen. Images of the gold dragon flash as Break Out by Scorpions plays, chibi Filia walks out of the backstage area and checks her applause.
Filia: Thank you, I'm glad to be here.
Chibi Filia walks over and hops up on the table beside Red Dragon. Chibi Filia puts on a headset
Red Dragon: Nice to have you.
Filia: Thank you for having me.
Red Dragon: Let's get things started. Our first contestant is none other than Blue Seed's very own, Chibi Momegee!
Chibi Momege walks into the arena. There is an awed silence. Momegee walks up to the ring. Chibi Momegee looks up at the ring, "How do I get in?"
Red Dragon: How could I forget, chibis are only one foot tall.
Red Dragon presses a button causing the ring to lower allowing Chibi Momegee to climb in. Chibi Momegee yells, "Thank you."
Filia: Well, I guess we have to call out her opponent, introducing, from Card captors, Chibi Sakura Avalon!
Chibi Sakura walks down to the ring dressed in a pink outfit with cat ears.
Red Dragon: That's so incredibly cute I think I'm about to throw up.
Filia: You'd better save it. Later on we have Chibi moon and Pikachu in competition.
Red Dragon: Oh god.
Chibi Sakura enters the ring, "Key of clow, source of light, relinquish the wand, the force ignite." Chibi Sakura's wand appears, "Now I can fight! Windy!" Chibi Sakura throws a large card with the word wind written on it, "Windy! Help me defeat my enemy!"
Red Dragon: She's using windy. I didn't think she could actually fight worth anything. I guess I was right.
Momegee steps back, she's against the turn buckle, "Oh no. I don't have any fighting powers, I just track monsters!" Momegee's eyes get really big and she starts crying, "I hope Kucenagi will come and save me." Suddenly Momegee disappears.
Filia: I don't get it. Where did she go?
A pair of demon eyes appear on the giant TV screen and a sinister cackle fills the arena. Suddenly the music of Disturbed starts playing, "All the people in the projects, rock! Insane stupify coming back again…"
Filia: Oh god, it can't be!
Chibi Xellos appears on stage, "I can't let Filia have all the fun, can I now?" Xellos disappears and appears next to Filia. He puts on a headset.
Xellos: I just thought I'd drop by, who's winning?
Filia: Sakura was until you teleported Momegee away. Now are you going to compete or not?
Xellos: Physical competition? Not my style. I'll just sit this one out. Besides, I didn't save Momegee, it was a certain elven sorceress.
Chibi Pirotess and Momegee appear on the other side of the ring, "I've got to steal the love card from Sakura. Maybe then Ashram will freaking notice me." Sakura is getting worried, "Love card? There is no love card." Chibi Pirotess jumps down and gets in Sakura's face, "What do you mean there's no freaking love card?"
Red dragon: Interesting. It seams Pirotess knows as much about the cards as Sakura does.
Xellos: She doesn't know a thing about those cards. Last I saw him Kero had O.D.ed on those little chinese doughnut things.
An announcement came on, "Will the owner of a yellow stuffed animal with wings please come to lost didn't found. He is on a sugar buzz and is assaulting the other stuffed animals." Sakura looked surprised, "I have to go. Vanish card!" Sakura disappears
Filia: She has five minutes to come back or she'll be disqualified.
Chibi Parn runs down to the stage, "Don't worry Deed! I'll save you." Parn jumps into the ring and stabs Momegee. Parn runs up and hugs Pirotess, "No we can be together Deed!"
Xellos: *chuckles* that was certainly interesting. Parn can't tell Deedlet and Pirotess apart. It's a shame Sakura isn't around to get involved.
Filia: Did you give Kero those sugar doughnuts?
Xellos: That is a secret.
Red Dragon: People, let's get back to the match.
Chibi Releena appears at the top of the ring, "My, my, such violence." Chibi Releena runs down, "Can't we all get along?"
Red Dragon: If those guys don't kill her I may have to.
Chibi Releena steps into the ring, "Can't you all see violence doesn't solve anything? Can't we all just get along?" Suddenly Tenchi hits Releena in the head with the butt end of his laser sword, "Get with the program."
Red Dragon: I knew I hired him for a reason.
Chibi Ashram appears at the top of the ramp, "Parn! Get your goody freaking two shoes hands off my freaking broad!" Parn and Ashram begin chibi sword fighting in the ring.
Xellos: Don't forget. This is a death match, weapons are perfectly legal.
Chibi Gourry appears at the top of the ramp, "A sword fight? I want in!" Chibi Gourry runs down and hops over the ropes, "Light come fourth!"
Filia: Oh no, he's got the sword of light! Even though he's a Chibi and the sword of light is more like a tooth pick it's still dangerous.
Xellos: Look, I think Lina is entering the ring.
Line runs after Gourry, "You Jellyfish for brains! We were going to come out last and dominate. Now it's not a surprise anymore!" Line bonks Gourry in the head, "Lina! What did I do?"
Xellos: That looks kind of painful. Those two are going to be the death of each other. Hey Gourry! Momegee wears animal underwear. What pair is she wearing?"
Gourry stopped fighting, "I'll check." Gourry walks over to Momegee's dead body and reaches for her skirt. Suddenly a huge mace hits him in the head. Filia is standing on the announcement table in a fighting stance. She runs over to collect her mace.
Filia: I'm sorry. I just couldn't let Gourry lift another's girl's skirt.
Xellos: Your tail is showing.
Filia: Shut up!
Lina looks down at Gourry, "Wake up!" Lina starts shaking Gourry, "You jellyfish brain wake up!" Line looks over the ring, "Filia! Don't get involved!" Tenchi walks over, "Focus on the fight." Chibi Lina's face turns red, "Filia interfeared in the match! I want a DQ!"
Filia: No I didn't!
Xellos: Rule of combat, if the ref didn't see it, it never happened.
Chibi Sakura appears in the ring, "I want to get back in the fight!" Chibi Lina gets bigger, "You can't get back in the fight! You walked out!" Chibi Sakura gets bigger, "Kero overdosed on sugar. I had to leave." Tenchi is looking confused.
Xellos: Trying to stop an argument between two girls, that's harsh.
Filia: How does he know how to settle an argument between two girls?
Red Dragon: I knew I hired him for a reason.
Chibi Releena picks up the sword of light, "I must struggle for peace, even if it kills me!" Releena stabs chibi Sakura with the sword, "Playing cards is wrong! It encourages violence." Chibi Releena pulls the sword of light out of Sakura's body, "Who's next?"
Xellos: That was certainly interesting.
Chibi pink dragon from Lodoss wars appears on stage, "HA ha!"
Red Dragon: You go dragon! Get in there and kick some butt!
Xellos crosses his arms.
Xellos: He's not going to win.
Chibi dragon hovers over the ring. He sees Parn and Ashram. Chibi dragon grins, "HA ha!" Chibi dragon blows a large wave of fire at the two fighting Chibi's. Parn jumps out of the way just in time leaving Ashram still smoldering, "Ouch, that freaking hurt." Parn gives a big thumbs up sign, "You the dragon!"
Filia: Look at Releena! I think she's going into heat after killing a little girl. We're about to hear her mating call.
Releena looks up and yells, "HEERRRRROOOOOO, you can come kiiiiiiillllllllll me now!"
Red Dragon: That's a mating call?
Releena's head suddenly blows up. Parn looks around, "What was that?" At the top of the ramp Chibi Heero and Chibi Trowa have taken dramatic poses. Heero is holding a large gun. He blows away the smoke coming from the barrel. Xellos is clapping his hands at ringside.
Xellos: Very nice.
Chibi dragon lands at the top of the ramp just missing Heero and Trowa running down to the ring. "Pika." Pikachu walks out behind the dragon. Filia has giant heart shaped eyes.
Filia: He's so cute!
Xellos: Yes. Pokemon are creatures of pure evil. They just hide behind their cute disguises waiting to strike.
Filia: don't be silly. He's the most adorable thing I've ever seen.
"Pika!" Pikachu glows yellow and throws a thunderbolt at the dragon. The dragon shrugs off the effect, the max charge is only three volts, "Ha?" The dragon looks down at Pikachu, "HA!" Chibi dragon blows a fireball at Pikachu slaying the foul pokemon, "HA!"
Red Dragon: Way to kill that homosexual monster!
Xellos: Speaking of homosexual, look who's sneaking into the ring.
Chibi Quatra appears in the audience and enters the ring, "You can't forget about me Trowa!" Chibi Quatra dives at Trowa knocking him to the ground. Chibi Quatra rolls Trowa onto his back.
Filia: He killed Pikachu.
Xellos: Good ridence
Red Dragon looks at Quatra and Trowa
Red Dragon: That ain't right!
Quatra stands up, "That'll finish up out date last night." Trowa is still laying on the ground, "I don't want to live anymore! Heero, please, end my life." Heero looks away From Pirotess, "What? I can't kill you! You're the only chibi here as blood thirsty as I am." Trowa is crying now, "I just made it with Quatra! I don't want to live anymore!" Heero points his gun at Trowa, "Mission accepted." A gunshot rings out.
Filia: That was kind of sad.
Pirotess is looking down at Ashram's charred corps, "Why did you have to get killed by that freaking dragon? I'll avenge you." Chibi Pirotess picks up the demon sword, "I'll use this!" Chibi Pirotess dives at Parn. Parn is knocked down with Pirotess sitting on top of him, "I'm going to end your freaking life!"
Xellos: Things aren't looking so good for Parn.
Red Dragon: Here comes the cavalry.
"You two timing bastard!" Chibi Deedlet appears in the ring and stabs Pirotess with her sword, "I'll cut you good you -----!" Parn looks up and smiles, "Deed! You came to save me." Deed looks down at Parn, "Shut up you two timing bastard!" Chibi Deedlet holds her hand on Parn, "Mana of all creation become the fires of destruction! Fireball!" Parn's body is lit on fire, "Ouch."
Filia: There goes Parn.
Chibi Lina looks down at Deedlet, "That was cold. Cool fireball, you want to join forces?" Deedlet stands up, "Sure thing."
Red Dragon: An alliance has been formed between two of the most psychopathic magic users around.
Filia: It'll be the end of the world!
Xellos: Don't they sound a lot alike?
Red Dragon: You're missing the fight.
Lina and Deedlet look at the dragon, "He could be a problem." Chibi Lina glows red, "Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows, buried in the stream of time is where your power grows. I pledge myself to conquer all the foes who stand before the mighty gift bestowed in my unworthy hand. Let the fools who stand before us be destroyed by the power you and I possess. DRAGON SLAVE!!!" A large stream of red light hits the dragon causing him to explode.
Red Dragon: That was something no one should ever have to see.
Filia: That's inhuman!
Xellos is cackling
Xellos: That was kind of cool. She blew up the dragon!
Xellos is hit on the head with a giant mace
Filia: you insensitive bastard!
Duo is standing back stage, "Heero, I can't come out yet. Those girls are to strong." Heero picks up a communicator, "I agree." Duo sighs, "You have to get rid of at least one of them, then we can be together again." Heero closed the communicator, "Mission accepted." Heero charged Deedlet. Before she could respond Heero grins, "Self destruct!" There was a massive explosion. When the dust cleared they were both gone.
Filia: That was just confusing.
Xellos: There weren't any explosives.
Filia: There wasn't even a gundam, it was just him.
Chibi Amelia appears at the top of the ramp, "I guess I'm next. There have been a lot of unjust things going on! I have to enter the fight and blow stuff up in the name of justice!"
Red Dragon: here we go again.
Filia stands up straight.
Filia: She'll nuke the whole arena! Everybody's been fighting dirty.
A shadow appears behind Amelia, "You cannot justify destroying people to find peace."
Xellos: it's Chibi Wufai!
Chibi Amelia takes a dramatic pose with her arms spread, "I will not stand by while people are being unjust!" Chibi Wufai takes a fighting stance, "I challenge you to define the true meaning of justice." Amelia changes poses again, "Justice is good people doing good things for a good cause. Justice is not killing for sport." Wufai is now sitting with his legs crossed in a state of meditation, "By your definition hunting is wrong. Man cannot truly define justice without become the embodiment of evil themselves."
Filia: This is confusing. They're going to pose and argue until one of their heads explodes.
Red Dragon wakes up.
Red Dragon: Someone's head blew off?
Filia: No, but they might.
Red dragon rolls over and goes back to sleep
Red Dragon: Call me if they do.
Two chibis appear at the top of the ramp. They both run down completely ignoring Chibi Wufai and Chibi Amelia arguing, "Time for action!"
Xellos: From final fantasy, it's Cloud and Tifa. They'll bring some fighting back to the ring, I hope.
Quatra looks at Cloud, "What a hunk!" Quatra charges Cloud hoping for another easy victory. Cloud pulls out his giant sword, "Make my day Quatra Reburta, the wiener." Quatra stops, "I brought help!" There is a loud yell, "Pink sugar heart attack!" Cloud's eyes turn red and heart shapes, "Quatra, love of my life."
Red Dragon: I'm going to throw up.
Xellos's face turns green.
Xellos: I may have to join you.
Filia: Chibi Chibi was here earlier, probably trying to cheer on her cousin, Chibi Moon. I did a brief interview earlier.
Red Dragon: Really?
Filia: I asked who she thought would win the fight.
Xellos: What did she say?
Filia pulls out a legal pad.
Filia: I wrote it down. She said, "Chibi chibi chibi chibi."
Red Dragon: Woman of few words.
I will never know, myself until i do this on my own
I will never feel, anything else, until my wounds are healed
I will never be, anything till i break away from you
I will break away, and find myself anew.

Last edited by Mikaru; 19-11-2001 at 09:01 AM.
Mikaru is offline   Reply With Quote