The Cast of Bleach Discuss the US Presidential Election
Ichigo: Welcome to another attempt at a serious discussion on current world events. Today my cast mates and I will be discussing the current US Presidential election.
Chad: There is one question that comes to my mind.
Ichigo: And that is?
Chad: Who gives a rat’s ass?
Uryu: Right. We’re Japanese. What do we care who gets elected the American president?
Renji: I don’t even know who the Japanese president is.
Uryu: We don’t have a president. We have a prime minister.
Renji: You see?
Orihime: Oh, I like the one who has the thingy.
Ichigo: The what?
Rukia: Orihime?
Orihime: Yes?
Rukia: Shut the hell up!
Orihime: OK.
Ichigo: Well, the elections are important to Japan as well. Whoever is elected will effect US/Japanese relations.
Renji: You ever have relations with an American?
Ichigo: I mean, well, what about the status of a US military presence in Japan? Many Marine units are leaving for Guam. What about the remaining troops?
Renji: They’re all after our women. Let ‘em go.
Chad: Who the hell wants to go to Guam?
Uryu: Some are actually going to be stationed in Australia.
Renji: Now that I can understand! There are some great beaches and hot women in Australia. I was there on vacation once, and met this one girl who was hot and ready to. . . .
Rukia: Nobody cares.
Ichigo: Let’s take a look at the various candidates. What about Gingrich?
Orihime: Oh! I know who he is! He’s the one who stole Christmas!
Rukia: Orihime?
Orihime: Yes?
Rukia: Shut the hell up!
Chad: No, Gingrich is the one getting all the tail.
Renji: He is? Whoo! That’s my man!
Orihime: What’s “getting tail?”
Uryu: It’s a euphemism.
Orihime: A what?
Uryu: It means having sex.
Orihime: Oh, I get it! It’s like Rukia needs to get more tail!
Rukia: Hey!
Ichigo: And that’s all the time we have today. Join us in our next discussion when. . . .
Rukia: . . . When I kill Orihime.
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