Here's a story i wrote myself..i'd like to know what you guys think cuz later i wanna make it into a manga type thing..but i want opinions before i do so thanx
p.s hope itz not too long..
LOCKETIA
Chapter 1
The forest was a beautiful green and smelt of pine needles. Deeper into the forest was a large waterfall thundering down off a cliff. Standing at the foot of the waterfall was Mika Detana, a 17-year-old girl. The mist from the waterfall was spraying Mika’s blonde hair, as she knelt down to touch the water, which was surprisingly warm for a June. She could see her beautiful reflection in the water, and then she gently took her hand and swished it in the water causing her reflection to be hidden by the ripples. In the water beneath her hand she saw something sparkle when the sun hit it. Mika reached into the water to see what this sparkly thing was. It was a shiny gold locket, curiously she opened it. Inside were two pictures, Mika never really wondered why neither of the pictures were wet, she was too taken up with the pictures themselves. One of a the pictures was of a boy that looked about her age, and the other. The locket slipped back into the water, as Mika’s her hand jumped to her mouth. After a moment her curiosity made her put her hand back into the water, and although it was shaking furiously, she picked the locket back up again. Mika didn’t have a clue who the boy was, but the picture of the girl, it looked just like her. In fact she convinced herself that it was her, because everything about her was portrayed in that black and white photo even the little scar on her left cheek. Mika tried to stand up, but her legs gave out before she was able to, so she sat thinking about the mysterious boy. She couldn’t think of anywhere she could know him from.
When her legs let her stand she did so, but what to do with the locket, finally she decided on wearing it. If that really was a picture of her she needed to know who took that picture, seeing as she had never had anyone take a black and white picture of her. Also the mysterious boy she had to find out who he was and why their pictures were in a locket together. Mika lifted the locket’s chain over her head and around her neck. She felt a tingly unexplained surge of power run through her body, then it was gone. Mika wasn’t sure what that was, and it was beginning to get dark so she decided to go home.
As soon as she got home she went to her room to think. Mika lay on her bed for a while thinking about this mysterious boy, she had his photograph, so maybe she could find him. She fell asleep thinking about him, he had light hair, and interesting eyes that seemed to suck you into another world, she couldn’t tell much else from the black and white photo though. That night Mika had a dream that she was walking down the sidewalk, when she saw a boy that looked exactly like the mysterious boy and when she showed him the locket, he opened his mouth to speak to her. That’s when she woke up.
Mika realized that it was only a dream when she found herself in her room laying on her bed. She was extremely disappointed that she hadn’t really met this mysterious guy. Mika’s mother and father had already left for work, but one of them had made her breakfast. This was very handy considering Mika was on the late side for school. She ate breakfast and then ran out the door. Mika was wearing her normal school uniform and had her hair down as usual, and as she rushed down the sidewalk her hair flopped back and forth. Some of her hair flew in front of her eyes and she crashed into someone. Whoever it was they sent Mika flying to the ground. When she brushed her hair out of her eyes and looked up, her jaw dropped. It was the mysterious boy from her locket. As he helped her up she noticed that he had blonde hair and the most intriguing blue eyes, that she couldn‘t easily look away from. When she was on her feet, she asked him what his name was, he said his name was Rekui Sodaijo. She knew that this had to be him, he looked just like the picture in the locket, only in color. As they stood there their hands touched, that’s when she had this weird feeling shoot through her that made her know it was him. Mika spotted a sparkly golden necklace that had slipped out from underneath Rekui’s shirt when he helped her up. Shocked Mika grabbed at it, opened it, and inside was the exact same pictures. In fact it was the exact same locket as she had. In unision they asked each other where they got their lockets. Mika told Rekui the story of the previous day, and he told her that he found his, the previous day as well dangling from a tree branch. For three whole minutes they just stood there hand in hand looking at their lockets. When the realized that they were still holding hands, their faces went bright red, and their hands quickly dropped.
Mika could hear the bell ringing for school, so she asked Rekui what school he went to. He said he went to Tokaedo High School, unfortunately Mika goes to Sinaka High School. Luckily both schools are in walking distance of each other.
All day Mika couldn’t stop thinking about when she’d see Rekui again. When the final bell had finished ringing, Mika went over to Tokaedo High School to look for Rekui. Many people were streaming out of the school doors, but none of which were Rekui. Mika asked a few people if they knew where Rekui was, but none of them seemed to know who he was, let alone where he was. Depressed Mika went to her favorite spot, the cliff with the waterfall. The rocks tumbled down and plinked into the water beneath her feet as she climbed to the top of the cliff. There was a small stream of water that Mika had to jump across, but she knew she could make it. Mika stepped back a few feet and then took a running jump her arms flailed about as she tried to hold herself up. To her surprise she didn‘t make it, and fell backwards into the water. As Mika sat in two foot deep stream which was murmering happily, she saw a person running towards her. He wanted to know if he could help her, it was Rekui. Instead of answering she just got lost in his eyes, they showed her a wonderful place that blinking caused to leave. Finally she let him help her up.
Together they sat at the edge of the cliff looking out over the world, and letting the sun dry Mika off. Simultaniusly they looked into each other’s eyes, again Mika saw a world unlike any other. After a moment Mika felt herself being pulled towards Rekui, they were being drawn closer together by something that couldn‘t be seen. Mika was still staring into Rekui’s eyes, but she had to stop when she noticed both of the lockets. They were glowing and lifting up and towards each other, and as they got closer so did Mika and Rekui. Mika pointed to the lockets, but Rekui only smiled and told her that the time would come soon. She hadn’t a clue what he meant by that, and while she thought about it she was getting pulled closer to Rekui. Mika was scared, because she didn’t know what was happening, or what Rekui was talking about.
Quickly she closed her eyes and jerked away from Rekui, as she did so the lockets dropped. When her eyes opened Rekui was standing, with a look on his face that she never wanted to see again. He looked horrified. Gently Mika asked him why he looked so scared. To her left out over the cliff and up a bit opened a giant portal, in it she saw the same thing she saw when she looked into Rekui’s eyes. It was the world, she saw people walking about in a town. This time they seemed so real. Suddenly the peaceful setting was disrupted, Rekui’s arms and legs stretched out and he began to float up into the air, his beautiful eyes glowing a dreadful color. As this happened the day became dark and stormy. Mika didn’t know what to do or what was happening, she was terrified. She crawled backwards, crab-like, away from what was happening. By now Rekui was near the portal, he was getting sucked in farther and farther. Mika yelled for him to stop, hoping he’d listen. She couldn’t stand the thought of something happening to Rekui. In some weird trance Rekui didn’t answer her, he didn’t even blink as he got sucked further into the portal. Mika kept crawling backwards trying to escape, as if in a dream thinking this would awaken her.
Unfortunately Mika’s hand felt nothing, because it was over the edge of the cliff. Slowly she looked backwards wishing she could just wake up. Mika didn’t wake up though, instead her hand made her loose balance. The rocks slipped through her other hand as she grasped for something to pull her back up. Mika felt something sturdy so she grabbed onto it and tried to pull herself up. Thinking she was safe she breathed a sigh of releaf. Shockingly it was just another rock, and since she was resting all her weight onto it she slipped again. This time with nothing to grab onto, and she was already too far fallen to help herself back up. A look of sheer panic crossed her face. Mika felt herself falling, so she screamed “HELP ME” as loud as she could. Mika saw the upper half of Rekui’s body sticking out of the portal. His eyes still glowing and non-blinking. She managed to yell “HELP ME REKUI” again, he didn’t even glance her way. The last thing Mika saw was Rekui getting sucked farther into the strange portal in the sky just past the edge of the cliff.
well if you're still with me after that extrememly LONG thingie, please tell me any comments about it, and how to improve since i'm not a good writer. Thanx
