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Old 26-03-2001, 08:21 PM   #1   [permalink]
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These chapters ive done alot of editing on its not as good as i wanted it but i think its still pretty good so tell me what ya think is it better or worst than the first one?

It was around 2:00am by the time the girls got to bed.
“Alright I think we better go to bed now everyone” Noyami told them.
Just then there was another loud explosion like the one Kari had heard before all four girls ran over to the window and peered out but there was something different about it that only Kari noticed it wasn’t colored light like before it was black light this time blacker than anything she had ever seen like pure evil had inhabited the good in the world the black light broke into many smaller beams and disappeared into the night. This event only lasted about ten seconds and then it was gone.
“Holy cow” exclaimed Touya “okay everyone else saw that too right?”
“Y…y…yeah I think I did “ stumbled Noyami
“ I don’t know but that looked like something I saw this afternoon on my way to Mamanoris house its where I found this that came out of something like what we just witnessed now except it was colored light not black” Kari explained again to the other girls. Kari ran over to where she dropped her bag and took out the stick she had showed Mamanori.
“See” she showed the girls
“Wow that’s really beautiful may I see it?” asked Touya
“Yes of course “ Kari handed the fancy looking stick to Touya who had taken great interest in it.

The girls didn’t sleep much they were too busy talking about what happened during the night and about the stick Kari had found. When they did wake up they woke up to the smell out hot pancakes.
“Mmm… yum I smell pancakes” one said half asleep
“Yeah lets go eat while they’re still hot,” Mamanori suggested
“But….” Touya started but never finished “He he there’s no use trying to stop her now look she’s already gone” Kari giggled and got up to follow the rest of them into the kitchen.
After breakfast they all sat around in the living room and chatted for awhile it was about noon when Kari decided it was time to leave she apologized and ran upstairs to grab her bag and things and after saying goodbye to her friends she left and headed down the road she went a different way other then the back way cause it was closer to her house.

Kari was at home reading when the phone rang. It was noyami wanting to know if she wanted to come over and study for the big math final, which was in two weeks. Kari agreed and said she’d be right over. Kari quickly ran downstairs and got her books from the table then took off out the door

The two girls where studying in Touyas room when there was a knock at her door and a small head poked through.
“Yeah what do you want?” Touya asked her little brother.
“Nothin’” was his reply
“Then get lost, scram you little vermin before I get mad!!” Touya screamed
The little boy took off and started crying. From somewhere downstairs Touya could hear “TOUYA!”
“Uh oh the little vermin squealed on me he is so dead!” Touya said annoyed “well im grounded maybe you should leave before things really get nasty”
“Alright well see ya later bye,” said Kari
”Yeah right if I live that long” Touya said with a saturated smile
Kari went downstairs and said bye to Touyas mom and left without hesitation.

Back at home she was stuck to reading again in her room and all of a sudden several blasts came from outside Kari fled to the window and seen a couple more blasts occur then instantly stopped and from behind her there was a bright red light Kari spun around to notice her bag was glowing a bright red just like the color of red she saw the following day with the first explosion Kari knelt down beside her bag and opened it. It was the stick she had found Kari picked up the stick only to be more startled by what she saw next it was a face in the top of the stick. Talking To her.
“Hello” it said, “you don’t know me but my name is Hukua also known as Element Wind you are Kari am I right?”
“Y..y..Yes “Kari stumbled “how did you know?”
“I know because I know you. You are an Element Girl. You are Element Fire you were born on in the volcanoes of the world. You are the princess of Fire” Wind explained
“Im afraid I don’t understand “ Kari told her
“Ahh… yes let me explain everything from the beginning ….
“ A thousand years ago a great evil called “Creed Moon” engulfed the world their leader was Empress Chibitaka and her followers Menta, Tenta, Venta, and Kenta.they were very powerful your real mother Queen Jubanuki was a peaceful ruler and had no intention of fighting although she did try she failed and used the power of Fire to take you and the three other Element Girls to be reborn and live a normal life and to never have to remember this unfortunately Empress Chibitaka broke free of her prison and powered up Creed Moon again and now she’s back to try and rule over earth if she succeeds the world is doomed and life will cease to exist that’s why we need you Element Fire and the other three Elements: Water, Lightning and Earth combined I know we can send them back for good!”
“Wow so your telling me im some-kind of super hero and im suppose to save the world by myself?” Kari asked surprised.
“Well no you need to find the other three Element girls but that can only be done when they find their transforming wands which are scattered about this area so we must find them before the enemy does but in order to complete your task you must become Element Fire to do so hold up this transforming wand and say Element: Fire Power! You will then be installed with the powers you’ll need to defeat Creed Moon.”
“I really don’t know if I can do this I mean im just a kid. An hour ago I was sleeping over at friends houses now I gotta save the world?” Kari cried out “this is just to much!”
“I’m sorry but it’s YOUR destiny if you don’t than everything and everyone you love will die!” Wind finished.
“Alright ill do it “ Kari accepted “so all I do is say is Element: Fire Power! while holding the wand?”
“Yes as soon as you do I will disappear until you truly need me again and you musnt tell anyone of your powers is that understood,” warned Wind.
“Yes I understand “ assured Kari
“ Then transform, “ said Wind
“Alright “ Kari stood up with the wand in her hand and held it above her head and shouted “Element: Fire Power!”
Instantly there was a bright glow of red and she was uncontrollably being moved and being changed into Element Fire.
"We are not living, but merely existing out of the fear of dying"
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Old 26-03-2001, 10:32 PM   #2   [permalink]
Project Akira
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Yea, magical girl action! I liked it except why did the Element of Wind give kari her powers and not fire? I am just a little confused here but I think that you will probably explain this later on. Good work and keep it up! have you read my Sailor Moon X Dragonball Series yet?
If by high art you mean it's fun to smoke pot and look at Mike Mignola's art, I'm in total agreement.
- Tom Spurgeon (writer for the comics journal), on whether or not Mike Mignola's Hellboy is high art
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Old 26-03-2001, 11:13 PM   #3   [permalink]
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Kari is Element Fire and her power is Fire the next chapter will tell more and yah the enemy names are really bad its just i had to remember them so i made them rythem lol.
yes i have read your sailor moon x dragonball there very good sorry i didnt reply ive been working on my story thing ill post the next chapter soon and thanx
"We are not living, but merely existing out of the fear of dying"
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Old 27-03-2001, 04:57 PM   #4   [permalink]
Reika the Dark Angel
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I was confused by that at first too, but since you cleared it up. Thanx!
It's been a long time...But I'm Back...Reika the Dark Angel has returned...
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