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Old 23-09-2009, 06:18 PM   #1   [permalink]
John Faulkner
Join Date: 20 Mar 2001
Location: England
Posts: 1,535
Super-Tactic #1: Operation Alpha and Omega, Codename: Armaggedon

Fellow citizens of AnimeBoards, it is with a heavy heart that I confess. Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears!

I have sinned.

It is true that recently, I had begun to lose faith in the AnimeBoards Spirit, otherwise known as God. Every night, I prayed for deliverance from evil, yet the terrible curse that has blighted this online community stubbornly persists.

These are the things that drive a person to despair.

I packed my bags and went to the desert. I lamented daily and my mind collapsed as Satan gripped my heart like a vice and squeezed it dry. I became partially blinded as heavy sand-storms blew hot dust onto my fleshy eyeballs, drilling flame-pipes into my vitreous humour.

I screamed: "O tempora! O mores!" Satan screeched in delight.

As I became chronically dehydrated, I yearned for Peace and Rest. One day, my throat crumbled as I lost my voice, and I wilted in the hot solar streaks pouring down on my wizened face. It was my 40th day in the desert. It was December 25th. It was the day I met ... God.

While my knees buckled and I began curling up into a foetus position, I heard a voice. O, what a voice! It was God.

You are my own dear Son. I am pleased with you.

I trembled with fear in the awesome presence of the Almighty, yet I was at ease with the assuredness of the Paraclete. God took me on an amazing journey where I feasted my eyes on the secrets of the universe.

I emerged from the desert the next day. From that day on, I knew I had been blessed by the one and only True and Merciful God, whom I fear. Satan can torment me no more. I had tasted heaven and everlasting life, and wanted more. I was reborn.

My mission in life has never been clearer.

I am the Saviour of AnimeBoards.

He maketh me to lie down at AnimeBoards;
He leadeth me to greater posting activity.
He restoreth post rates;
He guideth me in straight paths for His name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of stupid juvenile posters,
I will fear no evil,
For Thou art with me;
Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me.

Operation Alpha and Omega, Codename: Armaggedon

We are now moving onto advanced tactics, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the AnimeBoards Spirit.

I propose we have a competition whereby each participant tries to get any inactive member to post (e.g., via choice private messages) from the A-Z members list (hence the Alpha to Omega reference).

The winner will be the competitor who gets the most inactive members to post within a fixed time limit.

I'm game for this.

Are you mods up for this? What about you other members?

Last edited by John Faulkner; 23-09-2009 at 06:51 PM.
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Old 24-09-2009, 01:02 AM   #2   [permalink]
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Location: In a small room, plotting your downfall.
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So spamming, basically?

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