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Old 05-05-2010, 10:54 PM   #1   [permalink]
MeMyself
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Talking Monty Python's Death Note

Light Yagami walks into the Licensing Office at City Hall.

Light: I would like a shimigami license, please.

Clerk: A what?

Light: A shimigami license. A license for my pet shimigami, Ryuk.

Clerk: How do you know my name is Ryuk?

Light: No. Ryuk is the name of my shimigami.

Clerk: Oh. Well, thereís no such thing as a shimigami license.

Light: There is too.

Clerk: Is not.

Light: Is too.

Clerk: Is not.

Light: Is too.

Clerk: Is not.

Light: Well I happen to have an old shimigami license right here!

Clerk: Let me see. (Takes license.) This is a dog license with the word dog scratched out and the work shimigami written in!

Light: No it isnít!



To be continued. . . . When I get the chance.
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Old 09-05-2010, 09:37 PM   #2   [permalink]
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Part 2. Ryuk walks into a store selling apples.

Ryuk: Excuse me. Do you have any McIntosh apples?

Clerk: Sorry, sir. Fresh out.

Ryuk: Braeburn?

Clerk: Sold out this morning, sir.

Ryuk: Fuji?

Clerk: Sold out.

Ryuk: Granny Smith?

Clerk: Gone, sir.

Ryuk: Red Delicious?

Clerk: No, sir.

Ryuk: Golden Delicious?

Clerk: No.

Ryuk: Bolero?

Clerk: No.

Ryuk: Carlos Queen?

Clerk: No.

Ryuk: Northern Spy?

Clerk: No, sir. Oh, did you say Bolero?

Ryuk: Yes.

Clerk: Sorry, sir. Weíre all out of Belero.

Ryuk: Well, do you have any Empire?

Clerk: No.

Ryuk: Winesap?

Clerk: No.

Ryuk: Gala?

Clerk: No.

Ryuk: Yellow Newton?

Clerk: No.

Ryuk: Honey Crisp?

Clerk: Oh, yes. We do have Honey Crisp.

Ryuk: Fine. Iíll take a dozen Honey Crisps.

Clerk: Theyíre not quite fresh, sir.

Ryuk: Thatís OK.

Clerk: They are a bit soft.

Ryuk: Fine. I like them soft.

Clerk: I mean really soft, sir.

Ryuk: Thatís alright.

Clerk: Very good, sir. A dozen Honey Crisps. (Turns to look at stock, then turns to Ryuk.) Iím sorry, sir. Weíre out of Honey Crisp.

Ryuk: Well, then. How about Lord Nelson?

Clerk: No.

Ryuk: Edith Smith?

Clerk: No.

Ryuk: Discovery?

Clerk: No.

Ryuk: Look here. This is an apple store, is it not?

Clerk: Yes, sir. We are indeed an apple store.

Ryuk: And you do sell apples?

Clerk: Yes, sir. We sell apples and only apples.

Ryuk: Just checking then. What about Albany Beauty?

Clerk: No, sir.

Ryuk: Breakey?

Clerk: No.

Ryuk: Spartan?

Clerk: No.

Ryuk: Senshu?

Clerk: No. What if I tell you what we do have?

Ryuk: No, thank you. Iíd rather do it this way.
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Old 12-05-2010, 07:43 AM   #3   [permalink]
bewany
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keep it up the good work!zhu zhu pets video

Last edited by bewany; 17-05-2010 at 01:49 AM.
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Old 13-05-2010, 10:52 PM   #4   [permalink]
MeMyself
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Ah! A fan!

Originally Posted by bewany View Post
keep it up the good work!

I take that as a challenge!


I was going to post the following, but I thought it too predictable:


Light: I've got you, Ray Pember. You are now dead!

Pember: I'm not dead.

Ryuk: Here, now. He says he's not dead.

Light: Sure he is. He had a heart attack.

Pember: I'm getting better.


I thought my apple sketch, adapted from MP's cheese shop sketch was a better fit.
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